5 Tribe Members that Every Working Mom Must Have
I never understood what “it takes a village” meant. I was very smug in my pre-mom days. I thought parenting was going to be sooooo easy and I was pretty much going to be the best mom ever. Luckily, motherhood is the most humbling experience and the karma train hit me like a ton of bricks. This mom biz is no joke and it definitely takes a (rather large) village to raise these tiny little humans. Having a good mom-tribe is a game-changer. Here are ## key-players that every working mom should have in their corner.
It is so important that you reliable and trustworthy childcare. Do not settle. Keep searching until you can find someone that loves your kids, treat them like their own, and are incredibly reliable. Now, this person may seem like an elusive unicorn, but they are out there. Just keep searching and asking around. You will also want to make sure that they are flexible and provide convenience. You will want to be upfront with your expectations at the very beginning. It is best to have these conversations before emotion is involved. If you have a long commute and may be late a few times now and then, make sure to mention this initially. Make sure the lines of communication are wide open. At the end of your day, trust your gut. The intuition of a mother is amazing, if something doesn’t feel right, than it probably isn’t right. You should never settle with this tribe member.
Now, I understand that many people reading this may seem like this is a complete luxury. You are right, it is a luxury, but for a working mom (and really any mom) it is a much-needed luxury. A good housekeeper takes a lot of pressure off of you, even if they come just once a month to do tasks that you never have a chance to get to. For me, I spend my days either working, chasing toddlers around, or picking up legos and Thomas train tracks. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for things like scrubbing floors and cleaning blinds. Then the mom guilt kicks in that I am a horrible wife/mother for having a messy home. You are going to have mom-guilt anyways, I would rather have mom guilt with a clean home. To find a good housekeeper, Try Amazon Home Services. This is an awesome new service by Amazon which allows you to book housekeeping or handyman work through Amazon! You can also ask around and see who others in your area may use. Make sure you are upfront with what you are looking for them to do, how you want them to do it, and when you want them to do it. I promise you one thing, the feeling when you come home after your housekeeper is there is pure bliss.
A supportive partner is a must for a working mom. My husband and I are a great team. He picks up the slack at home when work is a bit crazy for me and I do the same for him. We coordinate schedules so we never really have to miss meetings and important work trips. Now, my husband is still a guy so he still drives me nuts (sorry for any dudes reading this, love you!). Males and females are just totally different. What I have found is that I have to be very explicit with what I need my husband to do. I can’t just ask him to “come home early” I have to ask him to come home at 4:35pm, otherwise he would stroll in 5 minutes earlier than he normally does expecting a badge of honor. Make sure you sit down with your partner once a week to discuss schedules and ask exactly what you need from him. The same rings true for household work. “Dad-clean” and “mom-clean” are going to be very different most of the time. Instead of asking him to clean the house, leave a list of specific tasks that you would like him to do. Nonetheless, a good partner can be a working mom’s savior.
A Working Mom Friend
Every mom needs to have a mom-friend. A mom that understands that you will likely cancel plans at the last minute, that you may not respond to a text message for weeks, and won’t judge you for hiding in the bathroom so you can get a moment to yourself. Working moms experience enough guilt, it is nice to have someone that just gets it. You can plan your playdates around your work schedule (no Tuesday at noon playdates here!) and commiserate about working mom challenges. If your kids are close in age, you can even help each other out. Maybe one a week you trade off babysitting for an evening. That will give you two extra nights a month to catch up with your to-do list or binge-watch Netflix (the better option). If you don’t have a working-mom friend, try hitting up the playground after work. A lot of stay at home moms have already went home for the day so that leaves the working moms. You can even start a working-mom group in your neighborhood to connect with other working moms.
A Great Boss
Working moms need a supportive and empathetic boss. I have been so lucky to have worked for working moms. They are amazing women that have gone through the challenges or being a working mom themselves. They get it. They have been incredibly supportive of my work/life balance and have even pushed me towards home when I needed that nudge. I know I am super lucky though, many people don’t have that support. My advice if you don’t have it is to set expectations and procedures up front. It is much easier to have a conversation about schedule flexibility before you need to take advantage of it. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and ask for consistent feedback on your performance. You don’t want issues to fester on either side. If your boss continues to be unsupportive, consider finding one that is. More and more companies are becoming more supportive of working moms and there are more opportunities to work than ever. Don’t feel stuck in a negative working situation.
Who else is your tribe? What advice do you have for fellow working moms? Leave a comment below!
- Dear New Mom Returning to Work
- Going Back to Work after Baby
- How to Balance Work & Kids (Without Going Completely Insane)
Become a Darling CEO Today!
Join today to get exclusive content and weekly tips delivered straight to your mailbox!