5 Tribe Members that Every Working Mom Must Have
I never understood what “it takes a village” meant. I was very smug in my pre-mom days. I thought parenting was going to be sooooo easy and I was pretty much going to be the best mom ever. Luckily, motherhood is the most humbling experience and the karma train hit me like a ton of bricks. This mom biz is no joke and it definitely takes a (rather large) village to raise these tiny little humans. Having a good mom-tribe is a game-changer. Here are 5 key-players that every working mom should have in their corner.
Reliable Childcare
It is so important that you reliable and trustworthy childcare. Do not settle. Keep searching until you can find someone that loves your kids, treat them like their own, and are incredibly reliable. Now, this person may seem like an elusive unicorn, but they are out there. Just keep searching and asking around. You will also want to make sure that they are flexible and provide convenience. You will want to be upfront with your expectations at the very beginning. It is best to have these conversations before emotion is involved. If you have a long commute and may be late a few times now and then, make sure to mention this initially. Make sure the lines of communication are wide open. At the end of your day, trust your gut. The intuition of a mother is amazing, if something doesn’t feel right, than it probably isn’t right. You should never settle with this tribe member.
Housekeeper
Now, I understand that many people reading this may seem like this is a complete luxury. You are right, it is a luxury, but for a working mom (and really any mom) it is a much-needed luxury. A good housekeeper takes a lot of pressure off of you, even if they come just once a month to do tasks that you never have a chance to get to. For me, I spend my days either working, chasing toddlers around, or picking up legos and Thomas train tracks. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for things like scrubbing floors and cleaning blinds. Then the mom guilt kicks in that I am a horrible wife/mother for having a messy home. You are going to have mom-guilt anyways, I would rather have mom guilt with a clean home. To find a good housekeeper, Try Amazon Home Services
. This is an awesome new service by Amazon which allows you to book housekeeping or handyman work through Amazon! You can also ask around and see who others in your area may use. Make sure you are upfront with what you are looking for them to do, how you want them to do it, and when you want them to do it. I promise you one thing, the feeling when you come home after your housekeeper is there is pure bliss.
Supportive Partner
A supportive partner is a must for a working mom. My husband and I are a great team. He picks up the slack at home when work is a bit crazy for me and I do the same for him. We coordinate schedules so we never really have to miss meetings and important work trips. Now, my husband is still a guy so he still drives me nuts (sorry for any dudes reading this, love you!). Males and females are just totally different. What I have found is that I have to be very explicit with what I need my husband to do. I can’t just ask him to “come home early” I have to ask him to come home at 4:35pm, otherwise he would stroll in 5 minutes earlier than he normally does expecting a badge of honor. Make sure you sit down with your partner once a week to discuss schedules and ask exactly what you need from him. The same rings true for household work. “Dad-clean” and “mom-clean” are going to be very different most of the time. Instead of asking him to clean the house, leave a list of specific tasks that you would like him to do. Nonetheless, a good partner can be a working mom’s savior.
A Working Mom Friend
Every mom needs to have a mom-friend. A mom that understands that you will likely cancel plans at the last minute, that you may not respond to a text message for weeks, and won’t judge you for hiding in the bathroom so you can get a moment to yourself. Working moms experience enough guilt, it is nice to have someone that just gets it. You can plan your playdates around your work schedule (no Tuesday at noon playdates here!) and commiserate about working mom challenges. If your kids are close in age, you can even help each other out. Maybe one a week you trade off babysitting for an evening. That will give you two extra nights a month to catch up with your to-do list or binge-watch Netflix (the better option). If you don’t have a working-mom friend, try hitting up the playground after work. A lot of stay at home moms have already went home for the day so that leaves the working moms. You can even start a working-mom group in your neighborhood to connect with other working moms.
A Great Boss
Working moms need a supportive and empathetic boss. I have been so lucky to have worked for working moms. They are amazing women that have gone through the challenges or being a working mom themselves. They get it. They have been incredibly supportive of my work/life balance and have even pushed me towards home when I needed that nudge. I know I am super lucky though, many people don’t have that support. My advice if you don’t have it is to set expectations and procedures up front. It is much easier to have a conversation about schedule flexibility before you need to take advantage of it. Make sure you keep the lines of communication open and ask for consistent feedback on your performance. You don’t want issues to fester on either side. If your boss continues to be unsupportive, consider finding one that is. More and more companies are becoming more supportive of working moms and there are more opportunities to work than ever. Don’t feel stuck in a negative working situation.
Who else is your tribe? What advice do you have for fellow working moms? Leave a comment below!
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The most important of these in my world is the reliable child care one. Most of the time I work from home, but about 5 weeks a year I am either out of state or away from home for 12-14 hour days, so that is possible only because my mother (who lives in another state) comes down to cover short-term child care for us! (since my husband works 60-80 hrs/week as his norm…)
That is amazing that she is able to help. I’m sure that takes so much stress of you and your husband. Kudos to you for being able to work from home with kids most of the time. That must be very challenging!
I’m not a parent myself, but my sister in law is lucky to have all those around her, especially as she is also at university. She’s very lucky to have many people to support her!
That is so awesome. A good support system is so helpful! Thanks for reading!
This is so true
It’s hard to actually make it without such support around you
Support helps keep you sane and focus
Yes, a great support system is so necessary. I do have to say that a housekeeper is a wonderful want, but not a need. If the moms can afford it, more power to them!
Definitely a luxury, but something that is worth every penny. Even if it’s just a couple times per year, it helps!
Yes, all the bases were covered. If I had 5 of these additional member’s the stress would be reduced and I would be a little bit happier, lol
Yes! What a dream that would be. Thanks for reading!
The sad part is as a former working mother myself a lot of us can’t afford the housekeeper. When I came home from work past midnight having to get up at five in the morning and had to clean and do laundry before I went to bed it was horrendous. It would have been very nice if I could’ve afforded one.
All the points you have discussed here are so important. We don’t have kids but I hope I’m still a supportive partner to my wife 🙂
I’m sure you are! Thank you so much for reading!
This was a great one for us working moms!
Thanks so much for reading! I really appreciate it!
Definitely all important tribe members, our budget hasnt quite stretched to a housekeeper yet, I’m working on it though as it is much needed
Its tough to fit in but I started with them coming just once or twice a year. It was my birthday present to myself. lol. Thank you so much for reading!
Your last point is so important! I was so lucky to have great bosses. They made all the difference in my career. It was so empowering to see other working moms being great leaders and putting their families first. They were also some of my biggest supporters when I decided to start my own business.
Absolutely! Only a fellow mother truly understands what it is like to be a working mom. That is awesome that they supported you and encouraged you to follow your dreams!
Yes! It is so important to have a solid foundation to keep you from going crazy! Each one plays such an important role!
All of these are so crutial! And if one is lagging behind in my life I can definitely feel the effects of it!
Absolutely! Thank you so much for reading!
Ha ha, how i can relate. We all have our predefined ideas before we become parents, and the reality is just so much different than what we imagined.A great support system is a much in every home
Yes! I find my kids doing so many things I swore they would never do. I learned quickly to never judge a parent. Thanks so much for reading!
This is so true, You really do need a village to take of a baby. I do not have any kids but the people that do I see all the things that they need.
Thanks for sharing all your tips! I think for whatever major change in life (such as having a baby!), a supportive partner is so important. It’s so great to have someone on the same team to to rely on! Great post xx
Absolutely! It’s so important. Thank you so much for reading!
This is a great read! As a military mom that worked full time it was difficult to do everything while still having time to play with my kids and clean the floors. I’ll have to checkout that amazon housekeeper information!!
It’s really cool! It’s backed by Amazon so that makes me feel more comfortable. Thanks so much for reading!
All of these are so true and so important. But i am more comfortable on taking care of my own kids. i just don’t trust that much.
That is great that you have that opportunity. Thank you for reading!
more than true.. great points here. I don’t have kids but still feel like I need support to stay sane!
Yes! We all need support. Thank you for reading!
This post is wonderful, and your blog is absolutely beautiful! Love the layout and classy theme.
Awww, thank you so much! I really appreciate you reading!
What I’m missing is a housekeeper! Great tip on Amazon Home Services. I’ll have to check them out. Hopefully I’ll find something affordable.
It’s more affordable than most people think. Even if you have them come just a few times a year, it really helps! Thank you so much for reading!
Wow, never thought of a couple of these. I bet that’s hard to juggle
It can be but with the right support, you can make it work. Thank you for reading!
I have to say I’m lucky to have a few of these ! Child care it’s me or my family because I’m not working at the moment . Not sure how I’ll be with daycare though I’m not so trusting with leaving my baby with others .
When I was a working outside the home, all of what you mentioned were super important!! Now being a stay at home, working from home, Mom – believe it or not, these are still great to have as backup!
I bet! Working from home with kids must be very difficult! You definitely need all the support you can get. Keep up the great work Mama!
Having a supportive partner is certainly one of the most important things a mama needs to have. I would add: make sure to take care of yourself! We have so many roles that often we put ourselves last!
Totally agree! We tend to put ourselves last but if we are not healthy physically or mentally we are no good to anyone! Thank you so much for reading!
Great & informative post. I do not have any children yet, but this information would definitively be really helpful! 🙂
Thanks so much for reading!
I love this. You have so many great points!
XO-Lisa
http://www.thatssodarling,com
My kids are all adults now, but oh how I remember the struggles of being a working mom. Luckily I had my parents to help me along with some amazing friends. I could have used that Amazon Home Service back then..lol!
Yes, being a mom these days has some advantages! Thank you so much for reading!
All of these aspects are so important for moms! I’m not one myself but I’m happy to say my mom has all of that and more! 🙂
That is fabulous! Every help counts 🙂 Thank you for reading.