Dear New Mom Returning to Work After Baby
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Dear New Mom Returning to Work after Baby,
Hello there, new mom. I hope that you are adjusting well to motherhood. It can be one crazy ride. One minute, you are on top of the world with your heart exploding from love. The very next, you are sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing and missing your old life and self. Motherhood is a humbling experience.
On top of all of that, you are heading back to work soon. Returning to work after maternity leave is something that all moms dread long before their little one even arrives. Well, I’m here to tell you that everything will be okay. I Promise.
You were a person before you were a mother. You had your own interests, your own friends, and you own career. It’s easy to lose yourself when you become a mom, but it is important that you don’t. Holding on to these things will make you whole and overall a much happier mom to be around. Don’t for one-second buy into the hype that it makes you selfish. A happy and confident mom is better than an unfulfilled and resentful mom any day of the week.
Working will also be beneficial for your marriage. Truth be told, your spouse will be around a lot longer than your kids (hopefully). Studies show that couples that have dual incomes tend to have fewer fights over finances. There is less griping about spending money and overall less financial stress. Having your own income puts you at equal footing with your spouse and strengthens your marriage.
Going back to work gives others an opportunity to bond with your children. I am lucky to have my mother-in-law and grandma care for my children when I am working. They cherish their time together and share such an incredible bond. It has been so special to see. Sometimes I start to get jealous of the special moments that they get to share while I am at work, but I try to force myself that I am giving everyone a precious gift.
If your kids are in a daycare setting, they will have the opportunity to be exposed to different types of children and caregivers. They will be well-rounded and very adaptable, which are awesome traits to have.
Finally, you are giving your children an incredible gift. If you have daughters, you are showing them how to be a strong, confident, and independent woman. For your sons, you are teaching them that women are capable of being an equal and deserve to have every opportunity that men receive. Regardless of gender, you are teaching your children the value of tenacity, grit, hard work and perseverance.
You are modeling how to effectively balance work and home and showing them that they can “have it all”. Every time you share with them something that you are proud of from work, you show them that pursuing their passion and dreams really does pay off. These are gifts that will last a lifetime and something that you should be very proud of.
In closing, I know that this can be an unbelievably difficult time. Let’s be honest, it really stinks. The first day that you leave your little one, it will feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest. But please know two things 1.) it is much harder for you than it is for your child 2.) it does get easier, I promise!
You are a wonderful mother and are doing the very best for your child. At the end of the day, that is all that matters.
Keep up the great work, Mama!
xoxo,
A fellow working mom
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Love this article and SO true! First day back is the hardest and some days are harder than others but having that time to be you is so important.
I’ve been on both sides of the fence – a stay at home mom, and a (part time) working mom. Both are hard. Both are fulfilling. This is such a beautiful letter to the mom who is going back to work, because heaven knows there are so many conflicting emotions!
Yes, just being a mom in general is tough work! Thank you so much for reading!
Such great advice. I remember how hard it was to go back to work, especially after my second (and final) baby. It was hard to give up those last moments of newborn-baby-time.
I had a rough time my second baby too. Luckily once you get back to work you get too busy to think about it. Thanks for reading!
These are wonderful tips for moms who decide to return to work after baby… I will be sure to share this with other mamas 🙂
I’m totally pinning this! Great advice 🙂 I know a few mama’s that could use the info!
Awe, thanks for passing along. I hope it helps them! Thanks for reading!
This is a great list of tips. Returning work helped me recapture my identity after having a baby. Thanks for sharing.
Really enjoyed reading this xx
Thanks so much! <3
This is so relevant to me right now! I’m heading back to work in a couple of months after maternity leave…and I’m not really looking forward to it 🙁 But it’s reassuring to know it’ll get easier 🙂
Aww, it will be tough but everything will be okay. Big hugs to you!
I remember many years ago when I had to return to work after my last baby… It was such a heartbreaking time in my life. I did survive, I do wish the internet would have been more evolved. This was great, and would have been exactly what I needed 18 years ago. Great job, and I will be thinking of you. God Bless.
I remember searching all over the internet looking for articles telling me I wasn’t a horrible mother for going back to work. Luckily I found a few and they really helped. Thank you so much for reading! <3
It must be difficult to separate yourself from someone you have been so intertwined with. Thanks for offering these tips to help ease the anxiety.
It is tough but it does get easier. Thanks for reading!
This is such a great letter with detailed tips to new moms. I remember feeling like a roller coaster when our children were little. It does get easier. Luckily we were blessed to have wonderful nannies who loved and adored them, which in turn made my mind at ease. I remember being overwhelmed with emotions, especially when I returned to work. Being a parent is one of the most fulfilling, overwhelming, uncontrollable, satisfying, hard working job. However, we do need to know that it’s okay if we are not around 24/7. Sometimes we need the getaway, even if it’s to work in order to cope with our emotions and other responsibilities.
Yes, it is so important to understand and be okay with the fact that we sometimes DO need to get away. It’s good for everyone to have that time. Thank you so much for reading!
Such great advice for new mamas! Love this.
Thanks so much! 🙂
Such a wonderful supportive post. Making any decisions that involve our kids are hard but going to work or staying home are very personal. And, whatever each mom chooses (or doesn’t choose but does out of necessity), we should all support them. Thanks for sharing!
Absolutely! Being a mom is tough work regardless of your work situation. Moms need to be more supportive and less judgemental. Thank you so much for reading.
Great read for any mom going back to work. I had such a hard time leaving my daughter. In Canada, we have a year of paid maternity leave and it still ripped my heart out. I don’t know how moms from the US manage when their babies are still so young. Thanks for this very motivating post!
That is so awesome that you have that opportunity. It’s easy to get envious of our friends from the North 🙂 I’m hoping the more that we talk about these issues, the more family-friendly we will become. Thank you so much for reading!
Man, it’s SO hard to leave babies! Thanks for writing this so other moms can relate.
It is so tough! Thanks so much for reading!
Some very great thoughts on mother’s going back to work! I’ve always wanted to stay at home, but the only way I wouldn’t was if we could get free childcare from grandmas!
This is beautifully written Chevelle. I think as moms we tend to put way too much guilt on ourselves. I can’t imagine most men have the same hang-ups about whether to work or not as we do! Keep fighting the good fight 😘
Thank you so much! You are spot on, it is a non-event for a man to go back to work, yet it so hard for us to do. We put wayyy too much guilt on ourselves. Thank you so much for reading and you keep up the great work too!
These are very good points. I went back to work after my first in 2015 and will be needing to do the same again in 2018. I am dreading it already but can honestly say that it does get better in time.
It does get easier! You know what to expect and know that everything will be okay. Thanks so much for reading!
Going back to work after my kids were born was one of the hardest things I ever did!
It’s so tough, definitely one of the hardest things a mom has to do. Thanks so much for reading!
I have been on both sides of the coin (working mom and stay at home mom) and I agree so much with what you said. When I was working it ripped my heart out to leave my baby at daycare for the first time! Then it got easier and we all enjoyed our routine. I felt more like a real person, like myself, instead of just Mommy all the time. And I liked showing my children that women can go to work and pursue their goals just like men. After my third child it didn’t make financial sense for me to work anymore, so I am home for the time being. I don’t make a very good stay at home mom though, and I do look forward to getting back out there.
I really enjoy being a working mom, I like having some time to be myself. I have so much respect for sahm moms, that must be really difficult! Thanks so much for reading!